Sometimes things happen that may annoy us. So here is one of those things…someone asked me today if I used AI to write my book, Stress Less: Mindfulness for Teenagers…. You know I’ve been practicing and teaching mindfulness for 12 years now. But even I need a reminder sometimes too, how to control my emotions. So, someone sent me a presentation by another mental health advocate, Dr. Amy Botwinick. And she mentioned something that made a light bulb go off for me: You know what you know, but do you also DO what you know?
That question had a profound impact on me. The truth is that I don’t always do what I know. And I need to.
I am going to include here some of the other things she mentioned, because they are always a good reminder, both to people who are just beginning this journey, and for those of us that have been on it for a while.
We have a Dino Brain, which means we go into fight or flight when triggers happen in life. That’s ok. The Dino, when he/she gets sad or mad, will shake the cage, and we need to figure out how to tame the Dino energy so that it doesn’t break free.
The world is crazy right now. We can’t control all the craziness in the world. But we can control our thoughts and behaviors, how we act and behave.
One way to learn how to do this better is by embracing curiosity. We can hold a mirror up to ourselves and ask, “How am I doing? What’s going on with me?”
In order to tame the Dino energy, we need to understand what’s happening to us. We need to name it to tame it. In other words, what triggers us, why does it trigger us?
Once we have that information, we can do something to put the Dino to sleep. One thing we can do is find Vega Breath, which calms us down so we don’t flip out. We can start by breathing in for a count of 4 and out for a count of 4. Tapping into our vega breath calms our Dino energy.
We can do this for 2 minutes every day, so it really doesn’t take much time, and no one has to know we’re even doing it.
However, this takes practice, like we are building a muscle of mindfulness, so that when we are feeling strong emotions, we can access that part of our brain that automatically knows how to cope.
We need to determine what our home base is, meaning what feeds our soul/charges our battery.
Picture a chair with 4 legs balanced on the ground. One leg represents our nutrition, one is hydration, one is exercise, and one is sleep. We need all of this to maintain our health.
Nutrition goes beyond eating healthy. We also need to sloooww down when we eat, fully choose to drop into all our senses. The first three bites of any meal are especially important to feel in the moment.
We also need to stay hydrated. Drinking a glass of water in the morning to start our day will help us think better too. It’s kind of like helping a raisin turn into to a grape. 😊
Of course, there’s also exercise which is important. We can walk after we eat, for 15 minutes, and this activates our digestive system. We don’t have to work-out for hours on end.
The fourth leg on the chair is sleep, which as you know, is crucial. Humans need on average 7-8 hours of sleep each night. The room should be dark, and in order to get a good night’s sleep, think about not watching the news or anything upsetting at least 30 minutes before bed. Watching a comedy on TV before bed is fine, or doing a crossword or reading a book is even better. And I am sure I don’t have to tell you this, but putting down the phone 30 minutes before bed is probably the best thing you can do for sleep hygiene. Remember the first paragraph of this blog entry? You know what you know, but do you also DO what you know? 😊
In addition to the 4 legs of the chair, there is also the seat we sit in, and the back we lean back on, both of which are also important for our mental health. When we sit, we rest our body, and the same is true of our minds. We will not always stop every thought, but we can learn to stop ruminating on negative thoughts. One trick is to ask yourself, “Is it true?” Many of the thoughts in our head are worries that will not come to pass. Another trick is to ask yourself whether it will be important in 5 years from now. If the answer is no, let it go. Positive self-talk is like giving ourselves self-care.
And when we lean back into the chair, we have support, like someone has our back. We can also have our own back, by making small changes, baby steps daily.
We can do things like not picking up the phone immediately when we wake up and taking a moment for gratitude instead.
We can offer ourselves some small non-negotiable joy throughout the day, whatever that is for you. For example, a micro-break can help us feel better and think better. A micro break can be anything from taking a 5-minute time-out, doing 20 jumping jacks, or going outside for a walk. Anything that will help get inflammation out (ie: the Dino energy) so that it doesn’t affect our health.
We can also use our senses to help us find our home base again and regroup. We all have a monkey brain sometimes, which means it’s jumping around and on the move. To calm it, we can feel the breath rise and fall in our belly, listen to our breath, focus on the numbers (in for 4 and out for 4), and practice anything that will help us change our shallow breath to deep slow breaths (Vega breath).
We can tap into Vega energy by practicing 5-4-3: Find 5 things you see around you, 4 things you hear, and 3 things you can touch, even if it is focusing on your feet meeting the floor, for example.
Another small technique which can help us control our emotions is to tap the thumb to each of your fingers. While doing this, repeat the mantra, “This too shall pass.” One word each time a finger touches your thumb. This sensation of touch can distract you so that we don’t go down a rabbit hole.
Circling back to curiosity, check in with yourself and ask “How’s my seat?” Is it stable or wobbling? If the 4 legs aren’t sturdy, then ask yourself why, and try one of these techniques to stabilize the chair and tame the Dino energy.
As long as you practice these things, so they become your default coping mechanisms, then you will have more control over your Dino energy. Many people know what they know but they don’t DO what they know. So do it. The easiest way to start is with something that is Measurable, Achievable, Positive, and Specific, which we call MAPS, if you do any one of the above techniques for 2 minutes a day, this will help you to feel better and think better.
For the record, in case anyone out there is wondering, the book was not written using AI. I worked on it really hard for more than 3 years. It is the culmination of hours of interviews I’ve done over the years with mental heath experts, including things I’ve learned, like different practices and journal prompts, including personal stories. In fact, I wrote the book before AI even became popular and certainly did not even know how to use it until recently.
@TriggerHub_ I think the next iteration of the book needs to have a statement in the front which reads “This book was NOT written by AI.” I am very willing to admit that AI is cool and that I have played around with it to see what it can do, but I feel really bad for all the authors out there that pour their hearts into writing a book and then have people question whether they wrote it authentically. End of rant, but yes, for the record, I wrote my book. Thanks! 😊
And so, today I needed a reminder to tame my Dino energy. This presentation came at a much needed time.
Thank you, Dr. Botwinick for the much needed reminders.
To learn more about Stress Less: https://wufshanti.com/stress-less-mindfulness-teens-book/